Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Some days I decide not to get up early to exercise…well, ok, most days. But I promise myself that it will happen. I purposefully avoid showering, I dress in my workout clothes, and I am sure that the first free minute I get I’ll jump on that treadmill.
There are many days like today…the kids are finally in bed, I feel tired enough for bed, and I’m still in my workout clothes, not sweaty but definitely in need of a shower. So now comes the decision…do I skip the workout, again, and take a shower thus giving me time to write – or – do I do what’s right for my body, run a couple of miles, and then take a well-deserved shower….thus having very little time to write?
Today was a total rarity. I chose the latter and believe me, I enjoy the morning workouts far more! Why is that? Oh well. The decision was much easier to make knowing that my dear friend Tracy (you can find her here) already wrote my journal entry for me. It was actually for last night but by the time it came via email, I was already finished. How’s that for a gift? Maybe I should ask everyone to write me something! So here’s a little glimpse into my life courtesy of my own personal ghost writer:
"Today was crazy as always with my children. I don't know how I find the time to be sane but I manage. Every Tuesday Ethan has scouts so I cart all three kids down to the stake center. While Ethan is busy building his character, training in responsibilities of participating citizenship, and developing his personal fitness Ava and Andrew are the fizz in a soda after it's been shaken. If you shake up a soda and then open it, the fizz comes flying out as if to say, "I just can't take it in here one more second!" Keeping them in the car is like me shaking the can and then letting them out of the car and in to the church is like me opening the can of soda. They run up and down the halls searching for adventure. Tonight was a little bit different. They ran inside but were quickly distracted by what was going on in the gym. They stopped and looked on, mesmerized by the youth playing human battleship. Ava was so in to it that she didn't even notice her dad waving a piece of licorice in front of her face or the fact that she was leaning against Tracy and not me. I'm so glad that I get to be at the church on Tuesday nights because then I get to see Tracy and Deanna who are there for mutual. We always get a good laugh over some thing or another. After scouts I somehow managed to get all three kids in the car (starting the can shaking all over again) and I made it home only for them to explode in to the house. Luckily I have them pretty well trained so they were good about doing bath time, pajamas, and prayers. They are all fast asleep now and I have a few precious minutes to myself. I love my life."
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Unfinished
A while back I read a book called “On Writing” by Stephen King. In it he discussed some of the events that led to him becoming a writer, memoir style, and then he gave some advice on how to do it. I found much of it to be sound, and I would know, of course, since I’m a published writer and all (ok, no I’m not but it sounded good to me anyway).
One of the main things he discussed was setting a schedule to write, a routine. You do the same thing every day; you know, wake up, take your morning walk, have breakfast, and then sit down to write for at least three hours.
What? Three hours! I never have three uninterrupted hours! It struck me; writers really do consider writing to be a job. It takes time, thought, focus, and having three little ones running around means that no, I do not have three hours to myself. Some days I’m lucky to take a shower.
But I kind of want to be a writer. I find it exhilarating to work on just the right phrasing, to find the perfect combination of words to express what I feel. I love the exercise my brain gets when it is forced to look at things from a different perspective, to find the interesting in the everyday.
For about two years now I’ve been working on a memoir, my love story. And though I have no intention of trying to have it published, there is a big part of me that wants it to be good enough that someone would consider it publishable material.
Today I had three golden, uninterrupted hours. The ideas were flowing and I was making progress in areas I had previously been unable to crack. I understand the 3-hour concept. What if I could do this every day? What if?
I’ll tell you one thing…I would not still be working on the same piece! That would have been long ago finished and I’d be on to bigger and better things.
But then it would be a job and I’m already employed full-time. I’ve heard there’s a time and a season for everything. My kids and family need me and for this season, I suppose that’s where I’m supposed to be. So I’ve thrown out the deadlines, I work when I can, and someday, yes, someday, I will finish my little 60,000 word memoir.
One of the main things he discussed was setting a schedule to write, a routine. You do the same thing every day; you know, wake up, take your morning walk, have breakfast, and then sit down to write for at least three hours.
What? Three hours! I never have three uninterrupted hours! It struck me; writers really do consider writing to be a job. It takes time, thought, focus, and having three little ones running around means that no, I do not have three hours to myself. Some days I’m lucky to take a shower.
But I kind of want to be a writer. I find it exhilarating to work on just the right phrasing, to find the perfect combination of words to express what I feel. I love the exercise my brain gets when it is forced to look at things from a different perspective, to find the interesting in the everyday.
For about two years now I’ve been working on a memoir, my love story. And though I have no intention of trying to have it published, there is a big part of me that wants it to be good enough that someone would consider it publishable material.
Today I had three golden, uninterrupted hours. The ideas were flowing and I was making progress in areas I had previously been unable to crack. I understand the 3-hour concept. What if I could do this every day? What if?
I’ll tell you one thing…I would not still be working on the same piece! That would have been long ago finished and I’d be on to bigger and better things.
But then it would be a job and I’m already employed full-time. I’ve heard there’s a time and a season for everything. My kids and family need me and for this season, I suppose that’s where I’m supposed to be. So I’ve thrown out the deadlines, I work when I can, and someday, yes, someday, I will finish my little 60,000 word memoir.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Battling Ends
Written March 1, 2011
As I sit here at my computer, halted by a lack of words to type upon the screen, they beckon to me, calling me incessantly by name. My train of thoughts derails. I can’t help but look, study, inspect every last one of them. And then I begin to pick them off. First one, then another, and another, until I can no longer control myself. I’ve lost track of the death toll but the proof lies scattered all over my pajamas.
“Rebecca, please stop,” Todd begs from across the room. He can't stand to watch.
And then I realize; it was the split ends that prompted the short haircut in the first place. Split ends were the reason I kept my tresses neat and trim for so many years. The haircut protected and preserved my sanity.
“So now what?" I think wondering if I'll ever overcome. It's been a hard won fight to grow it long again. And then I pause and grab a handful of hair; for the ends have summoned me again.
As I sit here at my computer, halted by a lack of words to type upon the screen, they beckon to me, calling me incessantly by name. My train of thoughts derails. I can’t help but look, study, inspect every last one of them. And then I begin to pick them off. First one, then another, and another, until I can no longer control myself. I’ve lost track of the death toll but the proof lies scattered all over my pajamas.
“Rebecca, please stop,” Todd begs from across the room. He can't stand to watch.
And then I realize; it was the split ends that prompted the short haircut in the first place. Split ends were the reason I kept my tresses neat and trim for so many years. The haircut protected and preserved my sanity.
“So now what?" I think wondering if I'll ever overcome. It's been a hard won fight to grow it long again. And then I pause and grab a handful of hair; for the ends have summoned me again.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Unequally Yoked
About 12½ years ago, a light bulb came on and I came to the sudden realization that I wasn’t alone, that my burdens were not for me to bear alone. I knew, intellectually and spiritually, that Christ suffered for our sins and for the grief and pain we feel as part of this mortal probation. The only thing I couldn’t figure out was how one could release those burdens to Him. I spent a week contemplating this new revelation.
At the end of that week, I found myself staring at what was left of my black Jetta after rolling into the ditch that served as the median of the freeway. One singular thought rose to the surface of the chaos facing me in that moment;
“Ok Lord, you win. My life is in your hands and I will accept the path you have laid for me.”
I felt light, strength, and relief. I knew I was not shouldering this burden alone. It was an answer to my prayers and the idea I had been contemplating. And though the Lord did truly show me how it felt to come unto Him, I don’t think I fully grasped the reality of how it is done, maybe I never will, but today I learned a little more that brought me closer to true understanding.
Matthew 11
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
The concept of a yoke, when it comes to oxen, is to help distribute the weight and workload taking advantage of the strongest to help the weak. In this way the two animals are kept equal and thus magnified in their ability to bear more than they could on their own.
To take upon you the yoke of Christ is to receive His will as your own. In doing so, you are strengthened as He, being the stronger, carries your weaknesses through the difficulties. As long as we are willing to follow Him, our burdens will be lighter, our strength will be greater, and we shall find rest. It is only when we try to pull away, to go our own way, that we struggle against the burden we will feel to bear alone.
This was the golden answer to the question asked so long ago. How do you place your burdens on Christ?
You simply follow Him, embracing His will for you. In that moment, at the scene of the wreck, I decided to try His plan. I remembered the yoke that bound us together, and I took my first step with Him, relying on the strength of His love and wisdom. And my burden was light.
At the end of that week, I found myself staring at what was left of my black Jetta after rolling into the ditch that served as the median of the freeway. One singular thought rose to the surface of the chaos facing me in that moment;
“Ok Lord, you win. My life is in your hands and I will accept the path you have laid for me.”
I felt light, strength, and relief. I knew I was not shouldering this burden alone. It was an answer to my prayers and the idea I had been contemplating. And though the Lord did truly show me how it felt to come unto Him, I don’t think I fully grasped the reality of how it is done, maybe I never will, but today I learned a little more that brought me closer to true understanding.
Matthew 11
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
The concept of a yoke, when it comes to oxen, is to help distribute the weight and workload taking advantage of the strongest to help the weak. In this way the two animals are kept equal and thus magnified in their ability to bear more than they could on their own.
To take upon you the yoke of Christ is to receive His will as your own. In doing so, you are strengthened as He, being the stronger, carries your weaknesses through the difficulties. As long as we are willing to follow Him, our burdens will be lighter, our strength will be greater, and we shall find rest. It is only when we try to pull away, to go our own way, that we struggle against the burden we will feel to bear alone.
This was the golden answer to the question asked so long ago. How do you place your burdens on Christ?
You simply follow Him, embracing His will for you. In that moment, at the scene of the wreck, I decided to try His plan. I remembered the yoke that bound us together, and I took my first step with Him, relying on the strength of His love and wisdom. And my burden was light.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Sweat the Small Stuff
Yep, I never write anymore. In fact, I rarely take pictures either. It's sad, I know, but I lost interest. But never fear, my memories are not going to fade into oblivion because this year my goal is to write in a journal every day...and I've been doing it. Though sometimes difficult, it has been such a great exercise and the words are already priceless to me.
So, I have been blogging it on another site but very early on I decided not to make it public. I didn't want to have to censor it based on my experiences that day. There are just some things everyone shouldn't read. But as I'm beginning my third month, I've decided that sometimes I'll share the things I write in this blog. I don't know whether it's because I enjoy comments - though I'm not fooling myself thinking that anyone is checking this anymore...it's been a year! - but regardless, you may see some action around here soon.
To kick it off, here's today's entry for your reading pleasure!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
What does it take to get a man off the street, rid of drugs, and on with his life never to relapse again? It takes a complete life change, a change of scenery, and probably a complete rewrite of all he knows.
Today our family toured Benedict Castle. The place was built in the 1920’s, a Spanish inspired mini-castle. In the 1970’s the property was purchased by “Teen Challenge,” a faith-based drug and alcohol rehabilitation program. The staff and students live on site, work, and maintain the property. It was interesting to talk to our tour guide, Hayden, about the way of life there; the lack of access to computers, phones, Internet, television, and just about any other distraction the world throws at you. They are given strict rules and guidelines to follow in order to encourage a permanent life change.
I’m all for strict rules. I mean I’m a Mormon and if nothing else, we are known for our strictness. But Hayden was telling us that he was written up last week for leaving a book on his bed (it was supposed to be put away), and forgetting his sweatshirt in the mess hall. Now that’s pretty rigid. Of course for bigger offenses, like fighting, you are immediately sent away.
As Todd and I were talking on the way home it occurred to me how important it is to get these little things down. That’s what we do as we learn from childhood. We are trusted with the small stuff. We are expected to make our beds, keep our spaces clean, and do our homework. It is through these small exercises that we learn discipline; we learn to be aware of ourselves and the space around us.
Now when one heads down that road to addiction and the many other forms temptation takes for the natural man, he loses the ability to make even the smallest of choices in a responsible way. “Teen Challenge” brings them back to the start. They are only entrusted with the smallest of choices and as they learn and grow, they are slowly given more responsibility. People are not able to work through the big stuff without first mastering the small. What a great and merciful truth!
How can this be better applied to my life currently? For one, as a parent, I’m responsible for the instruction of my children. If I can remember that the little things, the chores and expectations, are the building blocks for real decision making, maybe I can be more consistent. If I don’t work to equip them with these life skills now, I am only handicapping their future.
So, I have been blogging it on another site but very early on I decided not to make it public. I didn't want to have to censor it based on my experiences that day. There are just some things everyone shouldn't read. But as I'm beginning my third month, I've decided that sometimes I'll share the things I write in this blog. I don't know whether it's because I enjoy comments - though I'm not fooling myself thinking that anyone is checking this anymore...it's been a year! - but regardless, you may see some action around here soon.
To kick it off, here's today's entry for your reading pleasure!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
What does it take to get a man off the street, rid of drugs, and on with his life never to relapse again? It takes a complete life change, a change of scenery, and probably a complete rewrite of all he knows.
Today our family toured Benedict Castle. The place was built in the 1920’s, a Spanish inspired mini-castle. In the 1970’s the property was purchased by “Teen Challenge,” a faith-based drug and alcohol rehabilitation program. The staff and students live on site, work, and maintain the property. It was interesting to talk to our tour guide, Hayden, about the way of life there; the lack of access to computers, phones, Internet, television, and just about any other distraction the world throws at you. They are given strict rules and guidelines to follow in order to encourage a permanent life change.
I’m all for strict rules. I mean I’m a Mormon and if nothing else, we are known for our strictness. But Hayden was telling us that he was written up last week for leaving a book on his bed (it was supposed to be put away), and forgetting his sweatshirt in the mess hall. Now that’s pretty rigid. Of course for bigger offenses, like fighting, you are immediately sent away.
As Todd and I were talking on the way home it occurred to me how important it is to get these little things down. That’s what we do as we learn from childhood. We are trusted with the small stuff. We are expected to make our beds, keep our spaces clean, and do our homework. It is through these small exercises that we learn discipline; we learn to be aware of ourselves and the space around us.
Now when one heads down that road to addiction and the many other forms temptation takes for the natural man, he loses the ability to make even the smallest of choices in a responsible way. “Teen Challenge” brings them back to the start. They are only entrusted with the smallest of choices and as they learn and grow, they are slowly given more responsibility. People are not able to work through the big stuff without first mastering the small. What a great and merciful truth!
How can this be better applied to my life currently? For one, as a parent, I’m responsible for the instruction of my children. If I can remember that the little things, the chores and expectations, are the building blocks for real decision making, maybe I can be more consistent. If I don’t work to equip them with these life skills now, I am only handicapping their future.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Soccer Anyone?
Sports are new to this one...she had done a bit of gymnastics and a few swim lessons but that's all we were able to talk her into until this season...
She openly admits that she only plays for the treats after the game. Oh well, I guess we all need a little incentive...
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Rain, Rain, Go Away
Todd LOVES the rain! He claims he would be happy living in a place like Seattle but I would beg to differ. I would have difficulties there....and if mom isn't happy - no one is happy!
Unfortunately, Todd's car did not love the rain. I say "did" because his car is no more...
One fateful rainy week in January, Todd pulled a 180 through a puddle of standing water on the freeway. The result seemed a small thing, so the first week of February we took it to the shop for a little repair work expecting the inconvenience of sharing a car for about a week. 
A month and a half later, we are finally back to being a 2-car family. Sadly the insurance company opted to total our happy little civic. I know, it was a bit old (2002) and it had close to 150k miles on it...but it had at least another 5-7 years left and we were going to milk it for all it was worth. Apparently that wasn't much so we were forced to spend the last month hunting for the perfect deal...or should I say, "the cheapest deal". Not wanting to add to our total "debt worth" we needed a replacement, something to get him from point A to point B. That car just happened to be a 2002 Mazda Protege with a price tag to make this family beam with pride.
A month and a half later, we are finally back to being a 2-car family. Sadly the insurance company opted to total our happy little civic. I know, it was a bit old (2002) and it had close to 150k miles on it...but it had at least another 5-7 years left and we were going to milk it for all it was worth. Apparently that wasn't much so we were forced to spend the last month hunting for the perfect deal...or should I say, "the cheapest deal". Not wanting to add to our total "debt worth" we needed a replacement, something to get him from point A to point B. That car just happened to be a 2002 Mazda Protege with a price tag to make this family beam with pride. Now we can better focus on our newest responsibilities...right Bishop Nelson?!!
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