Even though I've been "hibernating" I still keep up on all my blogs and every now and then I come across one or two that tell a most difficult and sad story...loss of children, near loss of life. Though I don't know the people, I read these, sometimes on the edge of my seat. I cry, I sob. I can hardly bear to read about the grief they are suffering and yet I am riveted. There is something about hitting that cold, hard bottom that turns an ordinary writer into someone superb and prolific. The beauty of their thoughts captured timelessly on paper (if you will) and how deeply their messages echo in my own heart and soul.
This got me thinking a bit about some of the trials we are called to face, got me thinking about how sometimes it takes falling into the pit of despair before we are able to see the ethereal beauty of joy here on earth. Why is that? Why can't we write the beauty as well as we write the sorrow? Don't get me wrong...most of these that I read are beautiful because they write how they are able to experience the joy amidst all the strife yet why can't we see the beauty as easily without the ugliness? I know, the law of opposites...but somehow I think I could work a little harder to fully experience and enjoy the beauty as it happens all around me. It seems that while things are quiet, or at least normal, I miss all that is occurring. I miss the beauty of my own life. So I thought, this afternoon, that I wanted to find that beauty...I wanted to embrace it, thrill to it, remember it deeply in my soul. And, I wanted to do this before, heaven forbid, something is taken away. Before I am forced to feel that sorrow of loss, before I am dependent upon the good memories just to go on living.
So while I sat in the bleachers during gymnastics class, I watched with awe at the beauty of these perfect small people, their excitement, their eagerness to learn and grow. It was such a simple pleasure, just watching quietly, enjoying the moment. Ethan performed a near perfect cartwheel and as he looked over and saw me smiling, watching him, he blushed coyly, clearly pleased that I was there, that I saw, that I cared. For once I truly enjoyed the hour I spent with Andrew. His great big blue eyes and gigantic smile pierced my heart and I thrilled to watch him in his usual activities...looking for new "mommies" and "daddies" with better snacks or more interesting electronic devices. He's such a friendly child and brings me and many he meets so much joy. Today he was pretending to be a puppy, crawling on all fours through the bleachers, barking and standing on his hind legs. Just writing about it brings a smile to my face.
Amidst all the busyness of life...all the endless tasks and constant concerns, there is no greater blessing than being a mom. I am grateful that the Lord has seen fit to allow me the opportunity to spend some time with these wonderful children if only for this short season. I am truly in the presence of the divine. And I hope, I will once again, take the opportunity to look past all the mundane and see the spectacular because life is exactly that....spectacular!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Hibernating?
Why, you ask, haven't I posted anything on my blog lately? Well, I've been wondering the same thing. Today it finally occurred to me...you see, I realized that this happens every January. I scrapbook, (well, kind of) and the month of January is always missing...or at least scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to any kind of documentation. I think we (us, not the rest of the world) hibernate in January...you know - it's cold outside, the snow is falling, really you can't do much...
Oh, wait. We don't live in the snow. You can go to the beach in the winter where I live. Well, that blows that excuse. But really, there's something about getting through the holidays and starting the year off new that restricts me from thinking, reflecting, or writing anything. I don't even take pictures! Without the inspiration of a simple picture, I am unable to let any creative juices flow. My kids don't even say or do anything interesting in the month of January! Ok, well that's not entirely true but it may as well be since I don't seem to care enough to remember any of it or to write it down. January will forever be a lost month in my book. We live only 11 months of the year.
But that said, since the beginning of January, I have been diligent (most of the time) in my new efforts to live a healthier lifestyle (aka losing 20 pounds this year), and I'm on a new kick; documenting my past life...you know, scanning in old pictures, events, papers, transcribing journals, etc. Yes, someday I will have a big fat book called "My Life". Sadly I am an all or nothing type of person. I fully embrace the task at hand, devote all my time and energy to nothing but completing that task, and this all at the expense of my lovely family. So, since that cannot go on indefinitely and this project is much larger than a quick week, it will fizzle and die before I hit any certain kind of completion. I'm no good with balance. This is probably why I do not work outside or inside of the home. But the process has begun and it has sucked all of my time. So, though I feel like hibernating, I suppose I am merely living in my past for the moment instead of looking out upon my present and dreaming of my future. Wake me in February!
Oh, wait. We don't live in the snow. You can go to the beach in the winter where I live. Well, that blows that excuse. But really, there's something about getting through the holidays and starting the year off new that restricts me from thinking, reflecting, or writing anything. I don't even take pictures! Without the inspiration of a simple picture, I am unable to let any creative juices flow. My kids don't even say or do anything interesting in the month of January! Ok, well that's not entirely true but it may as well be since I don't seem to care enough to remember any of it or to write it down. January will forever be a lost month in my book. We live only 11 months of the year.
But that said, since the beginning of January, I have been diligent (most of the time) in my new efforts to live a healthier lifestyle (aka losing 20 pounds this year), and I'm on a new kick; documenting my past life...you know, scanning in old pictures, events, papers, transcribing journals, etc. Yes, someday I will have a big fat book called "My Life". Sadly I am an all or nothing type of person. I fully embrace the task at hand, devote all my time and energy to nothing but completing that task, and this all at the expense of my lovely family. So, since that cannot go on indefinitely and this project is much larger than a quick week, it will fizzle and die before I hit any certain kind of completion. I'm no good with balance. This is probably why I do not work outside or inside of the home. But the process has begun and it has sucked all of my time. So, though I feel like hibernating, I suppose I am merely living in my past for the moment instead of looking out upon my present and dreaming of my future. Wake me in February!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
One Tooth Less
Happy Birthday!
Christmas is the day on which we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ...
It is also the day that the 'best mom a girl could ask for' was born into this world!
Happy Birthday Mom! Hope your day was filled with love and joy!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Christmas is in the air...
One Saturday evening, we took a walk around the Mission Inn. The lights were glowing beautifully, the air was crisp, everyone was feeling cheerful and full of the Christmas spirit...except for my kids.
These darling pretzel snowmen brought us some cheer as we dipped and decorated each salty stick. 
Then the letters from Santa arrived. Who knew that he had so much info! We believe in Santa, we believe!
We hosted Christmas Eve dinner at our house....oh wait, and Christmas breakfast....and Christmas Dinner. It was so much fun being home and having everyone join us!
Of course, the Christmas Eve PJ's...
Christmas morning came way too early. Andrew woke at 5:30am to find his Aunt Traci and her dog "Minni" sleeping in his room. "Arf, arf!" That was all the sleeping for him (he loves dogs)...well until about 7am when the others woke to find Santa had brought them the Wii that they had begged and pleaded for. The rest is a blur of wrapping paper, gifts, family and food!
It Snowed!...
Yes, this is OLD news but it must be posted (I'm playing 'catch-up' today).
Ava's birthday was a wet one so the following morning dawned glorious and white! Not white in my front yard...but very white looking out at the view.
I think it was the first time I've seen the hills near my house completely white with snow. I felt like I was living in Utah again where the mountains are right outside your window and they are white with snow all winter. It took us a bit longer to get to preschool as I (and quite a few other drivers) kept pulling over to take pictures of the wintry landscape.
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