Mundane or Spectacular?

Even though I've been "hibernating" I still keep up on all my blogs and every now and then I come across one or two that tell a most difficult and sad story...loss of children, near loss of life. Though I don't know the people, I read these, sometimes on the edge of my seat. I cry, I sob. I can hardly bear to read about the grief they are suffering and yet I am riveted. There is something about hitting that cold, hard bottom that turns an ordinary writer into someone superb and prolific. The beauty of their thoughts captured timelessly on paper (if you will) and how deeply their messages echo in my own heart and soul.

This got me thinking a bit about some of the trials we are called to face, got me thinking about how sometimes it takes falling into the pit of despair before we are able to see the ethereal beauty of joy here on earth. Why is that? Why can't we write the beauty as well as we write the sorrow? Don't get me wrong...most of these that I read are beautiful because they write how they are able to experience the joy amidst all the strife yet why can't we see the beauty as easily without the ugliness? I know, the law of opposites...but somehow I think I could work a little harder to fully experience and enjoy the beauty as it happens all around me. It seems that while things are quiet, or at least normal, I miss all that is occurring. I miss the beauty of my own life. So I thought, this afternoon, that I wanted to find that beauty...I wanted to embrace it, thrill to it, remember it deeply in my soul. And, I wanted to do this before, heaven forbid, something is taken away. Before I am forced to feel that sorrow of loss, before I am dependent upon the good memories just to go on living.

So while I sat in the bleachers during gymnastics class, I watched with awe at the beauty of these perfect small people, their excitement, their eagerness to learn and grow. It was such a simple pleasure, just watching quietly, enjoying the moment. Ethan performed a near perfect cartwheel and as he looked over and saw me smiling, watching him, he blushed coyly, clearly pleased that I was there, that I saw, that I cared. For once I truly enjoyed the hour I spent with Andrew. His great big blue eyes and gigantic smile pierced my heart and I thrilled to watch him in his usual activities...looking for new "mommies" and "daddies" with better snacks or more interesting electronic devices. He's such a friendly child and brings me and many he meets so much joy. Today he was pretending to be a puppy, crawling on all fours through the bleachers, barking and standing on his hind legs. Just writing about it brings a smile to my face.

Amidst all the busyness of life...all the endless tasks and constant concerns, there is no greater blessing than being a mom. I am grateful that the Lord has seen fit to allow me the opportunity to spend some time with these wonderful children if only for this short season. I am truly in the presence of the divine. And I hope, I will once again, take the opportunity to look past all the mundane and see the spectacular because life is exactly that....spectacular!